Captain

" This article is non-canon! There have been massive revisions to the first Brick Brannigan novel, and so the events listed below are in limbo! "The Captain of the Celebrity Cruise Ship was the first individual Brick Brannigan met while aboard the vessel. He had a fake-sounding American accent and was concerned that Brannigan was a pirate. However, he was relieved to learn that he was actually a notable spy of Britain and they formed a mutual respect for each other.

That night, Brick found the captain's dead body on the ship's bridge.

Legacy
To evade suspicion for the Captain's murder, Brick Brannigan quickly ran from the crime scene. He later met John, the comedian, and informed him of the tragic events that transpired. John soon became the primary investigator into the murder and accused not only Brannigan but also the manager of the ship's restaurant. They were both cleared of all suspicion. The trio soon teamed up and found the captain's name tag in the water from the hot tub. The manager theorised that the shrimp in the tub ate the Captain. Unfortunately, the staff of the cruise ship were unable to do anything due to new Somali laws, which they had to adhere to as the ship flew under the flag of Somalia.

Days later, Jon Hamm approached Brannigan and tasked him with solving the mystery of the captain's murder. Brannigan agreed and the two of them took hallucinogenic drugs to visualise the murder. Within their hallucination, Brannigan believed he had genuinely murdered Hamm during a reenactment. This prompted the pirate Brick Brannigan to change his name to Jon Hamm in the dead man's honour.

The Captain's murder is currently a cold case.